My life is an integrated circuit

Oh blog it has been a while. So much has happened, most rather depressing. Christmas is almost here and I'm not excited. I don't get to call my dad and talk to him for hours and hours about random things he was my true best friend, the only person I could depend on and now he's gone. I miss my best friend Clara with a passion and we've drifted apart. I can't really trust anyone and I've been almost used once again. I've tried to be happy for my friends sake I can't stand people worrying over me. I'm not important. But I have new friends that I care about so much and my best friend in this country even though we might not have classes together next semester. The worst of all is the boy I think I really loved found someone else when I thought he felt the same and now I just can't be happy for my friends who have found boyfriends or girlfriends. I'm terrified to die alone or be alone, it's not something I handle well. I should go now and stop moping. Goodbye for now blog.