indieVISUAL Journal 2010

I'm not a very good artist... at all but I've decided to take on this challenge that I learned from http://charlie2010.tumblr.com/ and http://indievisualjournal.blogspot.com/ and draw a picture for everyday like a picture journal... cool, right? I'm very excited for this. So while I'm with my friends on new years day I will attempt to draw a picture. Who knows maybe I'll get better through this process. The pictures will be posted on http://emilielovesbuses.tumblr.com/ YAY! So if you read this I hope you start the project too =D

RIP Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan

I don't know if any of you care or know who he is but Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan was one of the most amazing drummers and now he's gone. I'm in tears which you might think is stupid but Avenged Sevenfold's music saved my life which most don't know. It sucks I had to learn about this through twitter but I did. Seeing him live was one of the coolest experiences ever. You were one of the greatest and forever will be Jimmy RIP

How do you not be depressed? I'm trying my hardest. I WILL NOT BE DEPRESSED! GAHHH! Life is fabulous and I need to move on.

Christmas kind of really sucked. How can someone be grateful for a giant remote control then lots of yelling. Fuck. My. Life.

Merry Christmas blog. I really wish my dad was at least alive to say merry Christmas to. I miss him a lot.

Oh blog that no one reads, why do I stay friends with people that make me depressed? I don't know if they mean to but they will say or do something that just makes me sad. I'm terrified of abandonment and Kamaria and Sinclair saying they're probably going to Darlington hurt a lot. I've had so many people leave that I cared about more than the Earth and that started all of this.

Am I not meant to be happy? Is that what it is? Is that why I constantly seem to be broken no matter how hard I try to be happy? I don't think I can fake being happy much longer. I really need a change...

My life is an integrated circuit

Oh blog it has been a while. So much has happened, most rather depressing. Christmas is almost here and I'm not excited. I don't get to call my dad and talk to him for hours and hours about random things he was my true best friend, the only person I could depend on and now he's gone. I miss my best friend Clara with a passion and we've drifted apart. I can't really trust anyone and I've been almost used once again. I've tried to be happy for my friends sake I can't stand people worrying over me. I'm not important. But I have new friends that I care about so much and my best friend in this country even though we might not have classes together next semester. The worst of all is the boy I think I really loved found someone else when I thought he felt the same and now I just can't be happy for my friends who have found boyfriends or girlfriends. I'm terrified to die alone or be alone, it's not something I handle well. I should go now and stop moping. Goodbye for now blog.